dxblog . Finally getting somewhere

Musings on God and blogs.

Posted by Scatterfingers , Thursday, June 09, 2005 6/09/2005 04:57:00 PM

Come on now, let's season this thing with salt, shall we? Let's not all become pedantics, but let's also not all pretend our lives are all that interesting. You can read about me and my bagel, or me and my Bible, but don't take me too seriously: I laugh at myself a lot. You should probably point a few fingers and laugh at me too. Maybe you could ask me probing questions about why I'm writing this right here, right now; I'll probably tell you that I have to write something, so why not this? Then, when you've put the sentences in order and assigned meaning, you can write kind replies. But giggle while you're writing.

I was excessively happy today, in a good mood for no particular reason. Maybe it's because I'm a control freak. Odd, you say? Indeed. But then, I've found loss of steering a strangely rewarding experience - I gave something up, but not what you're thinking. Not the idea, or the form, or the shape. I just gave up trying to stick my fingers in the clay while the wheel goes round and having God slap my hand out of the way, telling me to stick to counting his foot going up and down on the pedals. After all, I'm not much of an artist when it comes to shaping things that are supposed to hold water: I'm just good at pointing out the cracks and trying to glaze them over. Then some guy always comes and taps the bottom until the thing falls apart. But that was my pot I always exclaim, and he nods and tells me that's the problem. You stick to writing parables and songs about a beautiful girl, and I'll spin the wheel and let my fingers make grooves and divots. Of course, he didn't really say that: I did. He just said, "Good analogy. Write a tune for it, and let me get about my work." So maybe I'll do that - I mean, my guitar just begs to be party to another song involving potters and cracked vessels.

God's a patient fellow, to begin a new thought. Well, he's not a fellow so much as a concept to big for my pea-sized brain. I mean, I know what it's like to be three different people, but to have those personalities working together at the same time? God, you gotta teach me that trick. You're an eternally practiced three-piece band, and I'm still trying to get my annoying drummer to stick to a strong beat for crying out loud! But back to the beginning: a patient God. Thank God he's God, although that involves some sort of circle I can't fathom with that brain I was just telling you about.

Same thought - God made a lot of different people a lot of different ways. For instance, he gave me ten fingers and a keyboard, a set of analytical skills, and a heart set to music. I'm not sure where I'm supposed to go with this. Belief is hard either way: sometimes Yeshua seems like a nice psychological construct, if a distant one. Of course, he's still playing in the background, but I've got too much cotton in my ears to hear properly. The fact that he feels distant some days is enough to convince me that Adam and Eve made some sort of horrible mistake, not to mention the fact that summer is coming and I still have to wear clothes. But can you imagine being in the garden and actually walking with God? I can't, because whenever I get close enough to think I might be finally getting somewhere, an angel appears out of nowhere and slaps me with the broad side of his flaming sword. You mean I have to die to get to that there tree of life? Well, that makes the whole deal go a little sour, doesn't it? At least when I'm through with this - whether I get the girl or not - I get a crown of glory and I can stick my tongue out at those angels.

Speaking of crowns of glory, I wonder where I'm going to keep mine in this new heaven and new earth? Oh yes. At the feet of the Father. See? Belief is hard: I keep forgetting where I need to put that thing. The Spirit's coughing in the background, kind of pointing to the foot of the throne. Thanks for the nudge - I needed it. And that one too. And that one. Okay, my hip's getting a litte sore, and I keep forgetting my new name.

Yes, this has been an excessively selfish blog post. My spiritual journey (is the thing!) might seem a little diversionary at best. But maybe you can take something from this, like for instance how you keep your eyes on that cross where the burden slipped off your shoulder, and while you're at it, help me not to hop any fences. Alright, friend? Something about a threefold cord, and I'm done.